Thursday, March 26, 2009

Borderline Burnout

I am so done with school! That's really an understatement. I swear the whole idea of the program at school is just to see if you actually have the endurance level to make it through the program. Yesterday, we found out that one of our fellow cohort-mate had to withdraw from all his classes. He didn't totally say why, but my guess is he just got overwhelmed it it all. I also do know that he was sick and missed an internship day, which means automatic removal from your internship (yes, miss one day because your sick, and it's bye-bye to you), which means that you can't go onto the next level and spend your next semester just doing the one internship class. Being together all the time in a cohort does make you really close and we almost consider each other family, so we call took it kind of hard.
Personally, I'm not sure I would really recommend the program at TU to anyone, and I know a lot of my cohort-mates feel the same. There isn't a lot of compassion and empathy among the program directors and professors. They pretty much has this whole, "tough-luck" attitude and it's a major turn-off. I think it's their claim to fame, as one of the best and biggest schools of education in the nation that makes them feel like they can do whatever they want.
They run you pretty hard, and really don't care if your struggling. The directors as well as the professors truly believe that if you can't keep up, your never going to make it as a teacher, and they want nothing to do with you. Which is why they kick people out for missing one internship, even if they are legitimately sick. They also offer no sympathy or support when your struggling, all of my professors have told us that if we can't keep up on our own, go find another major, because they don't want us (no, I'm not joking).
Personally I think this is a really bad attitude to have. I mean when educating students, you can't just tell them tough luck, do it yourself. No you have to help them, encourage them, until they can do it on their own. You can't just expect them all to know what they are doing and be able to do it right away. Or overwhelm them with so much stuff, just to see if they can survive and push through.
Everyone claims it get's easier, and I do believe them. I think one reason they make level 1 so hard is to use the scare tactic to weed out those they don't really want. People also say you get used to the load level, and better because this will be the rest of your life. Which sometimes makes me wonder what I was thinking when I decided to do this. Don't get me wrong, I totally love kids, and I truly do look forward to teaching, but I'm not sure I really want this work load to be part of my life forever.

They just released the new cohort schedule, which doesn't look to lovely and is basically going to keep me from being able to work at all next year. We are at school Monday, Tuseday, Wednesdays all day, and then Thursday afternoons. Right now I go Monday, Tuseday and Wednesday and have Thursdays and Fridays off, which having two full days off is barely keeping me afloat. So I know there is no way I can give up a Thursday morning or all day Friday for work. I feel really bad as the family I'm currently nannying for would like me back and I would love, love, love to go back to them, but I know I need to focus on school. The whole money factor does have me worried, but I just need to relax and not worry, for God will provide. He's been faithful before, and I know he will continue to be faithful. Forever and always...

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